This post is inspired by a blog post written by Vix Meldrew that I read earlier this year, and a conversation I had with some colleagues recently. We were talking about the idea of a ‘Fuck Budget’, which comes from the best-selling book by Sarah Knight, named ‘The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**ck‘.
Sarah Knight’s Fuck Budget ideology asks that we think about the things that we spend our time on and whether we actually care about them enough for them to be something that we spend our time, money and energy on – because if we’re investing ourselves or our time into something, it needs to be something that matters to us or that we enjoy. So you work out a budget – a budget of the amount of fucks you have to give and, if something doesn’t make the list, then it’s binned. If it’s not worth giving a fuck about, then don’t.
I’ve been quite honest recently about a shift in mindset that I’m experiencing at the moment, and a large part of that is that I’m essentially working out my Fuck Budget – and I didn’t even realise. It wasn’t until I spoke to a friend at work that I realised that I’d unintentionally started to recognise that I was giving time to some things that I shouldn’t be concerning myself with so much. I became so worried about the future and the opinion of others and the path I was on that I lost sight of what I actually really wanted, so I’ve started to focus more on the things that matter to me, and not the things that I think should matter to me.
~ I’ve started to care less about the opinions of others – not everybody has to like me. It’s totally OK to not be somebody’s cup of tea, whether they’re a friend, family member, colleague or someone else. I think this is probably the main thing that I’ve learned recently and genuinely felt and understood it for the first time. I’m not saying it’s OK to be a dick to people because it isn’t, but I was so affected by other people’s comments and judging of me that I let it have an impact on my behaviour. Now I have the opinion that if you make rude comments to me about my weight, appearance or choices – that’s your problem honey, not mine.
I like my life. Why am I even thinking about covering my tattoos because other people don’t like them, or feeling the need to justify myself with ‘oh but I eat loads.’ whenever people make comments about me being thin? I eat what I want and have no interest in diet culture. It’s sad if you have a problem with that.
~ Money. It would be great if I had more money, a higher salary, cheaper bills – but I don’t. I can spend time worrying about the fact that more money would be helpful, or I can spend time on training and progression opportunities at work that will enable me to grow in my career.
~ Expectations. I feel like there are generally two kinds of people that are falling into this category for me – the first are like ‘omg you’re so young! Go and travel the world! Do stupid shit! Why are you in a long-term relationship??’ and then there is the second: ‘are you saving? You need to get on the property ladder ASAP.‘
Becoming so concerned about the future and what people thought I should be doing meant that I practically forgot about the present. When I look back at the past few months I can barely remember anything – living life on autopilot is not the way to do it. So a big part of my Fuck Budget realisations has been that I need to add things to my life as well as get rid of others. I need to blog again. I need to spend more time doing things that I enjoy. I read something recently about choosing the life that you want, and I guess that’s what I’m doing. I’m choosing to invest time and energy into things that make my life better and starting to care a lot less about the things that don’t and it’s really freeing. My Fuck Budget is full of people and things that make life better and, if someone or something doesn’t, there just isn’t space for it.