Have we stopped checking in?

I saw a tweet the other day that had gained a lot of traction – of course I can’t find it again now to show you – from a guy saying that he felt social media had perhaps encouraged us to stop checking in with our pals. I think there are a lot of conversations had often about the impacts of social media use but I found this one particularly interesting and I’ve been thinking about it a lot since I saw this a week or so ago.

I’ve worked in social media for a few years and I enjoy it, plus it’s helped my blog massively, so I’m not someone who bashes it a lot as I know some people do. I like social media, but I agree with this guy. We’ve stopped checking in.

We see what our friends are doing online and can often take it at face value. Today, Hannah is working from home – I can see that because she posted a picture of her morning coffee next to her computer and hashtagged something to do with freelancing. Hannah Tweeted about a new book she’s reading, so maybe she’s taking a break or enjoying some downtime. Let me tell you, just because I’m doing any of these things, that does not mean I’m alright. Especially the freelancing example, I’ve written about it on my blog and posted about it often on social but being totally honest, freelancing has been so, so tough for me. And usually when I’m ‘taking some downtime’ it’s because my body (or brain?) is like OK you need to CARE FOR ME NOW. Maybe it’s what I like to call an ‘adrenaline hangover’ – if I’ve done something that requires a lot of energy to prevent or fight anxieties and produces a response of excessive adrenaline, I sometimes end up with hangover-like symptoms for a day or two after. As I’ve become better at dealing with my anxiety this is less of an issue these days, but it happens occasionally. Basically what I’m trying to say is that we shouldn’t be seeing how people are from their online activity.

There are so many times where I’ve been replying to Tweets whilst hiding under a duvet because I couldn’t face the day. Especially when I first started my blog and all this stuff, I was really struggling – and that’s when I really got into social media. Posting pretty, pink photos to Instagram when I was actually finding life really, really hard. Having a panic attack and then replying to something online as if nothing had happened and that everything was grand. And that’s as a mental health blogger who encourages people to be as open as they feel able to be! Maybe I’m a hypocrite.

I just think we should be asking our friends how they are, and I think we’ve forgotten how much it matters. Check in with your mates!