I seem to be stuck in a bit of a blogging rut. I love blogging, I love the people I’ve met because of it, I’m grateful for the friends, support, awards, opportunities I’ve had, but I can’t help but feel like I’m not a real blogger.
I don’t have the money for Gucci belts, new outfits every week, photoshoots for said new outfits every week, or to go brunching every weekend in pretty, pink cafes in London. I don’t have time to write a new post every few days (or the ideas, to be honest) or to have hundreds of draft posts saved within my Instagram app.
It probably all comes down to comparing myself with others, which I know I shouldn’t do, but it’s really, really hard.
It’s really hard when brands contact you wanting to work with you on a gifting basis because they have no budget available, but when you scroll through social media you see ‘paid partnership with said brand’ everywhere. Why can you pay other bloggers, but not me?
Obviously money isn’t why I started my blog – I blog because I love to write. I blog because I learnt that writing about mental health could help people. But why am I turned away from opportunities when others aren’t? My problem isn’t with the bloggers at all, I think they absolutely should be being paid for their work. My problem is with all the brands that want me to work for free. I can’t imagine walking into a hairdressers or a florist and asking them to cut my hair for free. For exposure, or as a gift. I don’t think these brands see blogging as work, as a revenue stream, as a business. Bloggers work hard for their opportunities and to produce the content for them.
I feel like people I know think I’m doing really well, and they always mention it when they see me. Like I’m going to be big one day. Like I must be loving it and making lots of money from advertising, sponsorship and affiliate programs. I’ve done one Instagram ad in the last two years and haven’t qualified for any others. I’m a member of multiple affiliate programs and haven’t made a penny from any of them and, it’s fair to say, I’ve given up on it.
I try hard to remind myself that I’m writing because I want to write, but the nature of social media means that I’m constantly reminded of the fact that I can’t get paid work whilst others can.
This post is in no way a dig at bloggers. I am so happy for bloggers that are paid for their hard work because that’s the way it should be. I’m just saying that it’s a shame I haven’t been able to work with many brands because they want me to do it for free. I’ve started saying no and, as a result, haven’t worked with a brand since November. Maybe one day soon things will change, but I just wish I could make more of my blog.