I’ve been thinking for a while about whether I actually wanted to write this post, but when I tweeted something earlier this week I noticed that a lot of people seemed to relate to my issue and decided it would therefore be worth writing.
It’s really bloody hard to make friends (and socialise) as a twenty-something non drinker.
Bit embarrassing to write really.
But it seems like most people my age want to go to pubs, clubbing, boozy parties. Sometimes I think that, if I was able to just enjoy these things, to drink, to dance, to party, I would have a lot more friends. Finding someone in their early twenties who doesn’t drink, lives locally, that I can relate to, is quite a job. I’ve noticed it a lot at work – why do I relate to thirty, forty year olds?
Am I old before my time? Am I going to look back on myself in ten years time and think bloody hell Han you should have lived a little babe
The thing is, I think people tend to assume that I’m quite a boring person – maybe that’s why I struggle to make friends – or that I’m not living life how a twenty-two year old life should be lived. That I’m not living or enjoying my twenties. Well I am.
I enjoy my life and I’ve worked hard to make it that way. I enjoy blogging, I enjoy recovery – for the most part, I love that I’m writing a book, I love my job, my boyfriend. To be honest, at the moment, I really can’t complain about how things are going. It’s not about living a little or just having one drink, it’s about making the choices that are right for me.
I love nothing more than getting in from work and enjoying a quiet cup of tea. I love having my weekends to write blog posts, work on my manuscript, head out for a walk, or take some photos. I don’t want to spend the evening drinking, I want to spend it watching movies, drinking tea and eating everything in sight over a good old natter. I remember the sticky-floored clubs and the creepy men that drank in them, waking up with jäger in my hair and a stinking headache and throwing up in taxis. I just feel like I’m over it.
The beauty of blogging is that you come across people from all walks of life and, particularly within the mental health arena, there are also people who don’t drink – for the sake of their mental health or otherwise. But they all live miles away. I have friends online but I have to travel miles to see them. I can’t meet them for brunch, for a cup of tea, or pop round for a chat when one of us is having a hard time. I love the friends I have made through blogging, but why can’t I do the same in ‘real life‘?