To the girl who has lost her confidence

Sometimes people make us believe things that aren’t true. Sometimes people are manipulative, overbearing, belittling. At first you think alright mate, get back in your box. But as time goes on, it becomes harder and harder to recognise what’s happening. Then, you do recognise what’s happening, but feel like you can’t do anything about it because – that’s the whole point – you’ve been oppressed and question your worth or ability.

The thing is, that person will always be like that. You won’t. You’ll be whatever it is that you want to be. I know you don’t believe me and I don’t blame you. I didn’t believe it either. But then I thought what if this was my sister?

I thought of everything I’d been through, experienced, done up to this point and recognised that I don’t deserve to feel this way. That’s not because I think highly of myself, but because nobody deserves to feel this way. And that includes you.

What you will come to realise is that there is a person like this in everyone’s life, at some point. Most people experience a toxic relationship, a problematic friendship or a bully at some point in their life and, it’s important to recognise that bullies aren’t always school kids. The point though, is that I’ve come to learn that sometimes, it takes getting to breaking point for us to grow into who we really are.

You may feel like a person or situation has managed to get the better of you. You may be unsure of who you are. You may question your ability, personality, appearance, worth – god, I’ve done all of those things. At one stage I felt like a shell – kind of like a body plodding along on autopilot. But then I questioned it – just for a second – and I realised that nobody on this Earth has the right to make me question my worth. I realised that I have options. I have the ability to change a situation that I’m not ok with. So I did. It was hard and I thought about it for weeks. Do I have the courage to remove myself from this situation? Do I have the courage to take a risk? I did, and you do, too.

Life is short – don’t plod. Don’t live on autopilot. Whatever you’re supposed to be doing, you will do. Whatever it is you want to do, you can do. The one person that can change your situation is you. Don’t settle for anything less than what you want and, more importantly, deserve. It’ll be worth it.



  1. July 1, 2017 / 12:14 pm

    I’m glad that you found this inner strength and realizations – I love your analogy of “what if this was my sister”, and how you encourage us all to question, to understand our self-worth, and to act in order to preserve it.

    I love your positive attitude and agree, no one deserves to made to feel horrible and question our confidence – as we do that anyway from time to time.

    As usual, great post!

  2. Anna
    July 2, 2017 / 8:57 am

    I can relate all too well to this post. I’ve questioned my self worth because of awful times. It been a battle getting through it. This is a beautiful post. Thank you for talking about losing self worth and finding it again. I wish you more happiness and the best of times. 🙂

  3. July 2, 2017 / 9:56 am

    such a strengthening post, I love the way you have conveyed everything about us, we all need to support each other, rather than bringing one down and bring the best and spread the it Hannah!

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.