If you’re not into personal posts then this one isn’t for you. This is quite possibly the most personal post I’ve written but it feels like my way of telling my parents some things that I struggle to voice, as well as allowing me to get a bit of blogging therapy!
I had a bit of a difficult start to life which resulted in my dad gaining full custody of me at the age of four. At this point I moved in with my Dad and his girlfriend and saw my mum at weekends, until one day when I was seven, she just didn’t turn up to pick me up. It was from that day that I wouldn’t see my Mother for nearly ten years.
To think, I used to blame me, I wondered what I did to you to make you hate me. I wasn’t even 5, life’s a journey and mine wasn’t an easy ride… Wherever you are I really hope you found peace. But know that if I ever have kids, unlike you, I’ll never let them be without me. – Professor Green // Read All About It
I grew up without her. I was brought up by my Father and Stepmother and they did a wonderful job. Throughout my early teenage years I found it quite difficult to maintain a good relationship with my parents but I think it was mainly down to me being an annoying teenager. My Dad and I have always been very close as a result of what happened to us during my early years and recently I’ve formed a better relationship with my Stepmother. To me, she is my Mum. She brought me up as her own; gave me a home; took me to school; fed me; watered me; gave me hobbies; she gave me a life. Of course, I am unexplainably appreciative of my Father and the relationship that we have – he is my hero – but for a girl at the tender age of 22 to take me in and bring me up as her own I am forever grateful. It is for this reason that I am not angry with my Mother for abandoning me – she did me a favour. As a result of her actions I was put into a loving family home, which I still live in today.
Some people probably think I’m being harsh towards my biological Mother, but to me, that title is not fitting. She wasn’t the one to nurse me when ill, comfort me after a nightmare, help me deal with bullies at school, wash my clothes or make decisions like GCSE and A-Level choices, my Stepmother was. I even find it hard to use the term ‘Stepmother’ because I think it’s undermining to all she has done for me. She is one of my best friends as well as my Mum and the older I get, the more I realise this.
I cannot thank my parents enough for the way they turned my life around. The strain on them both must have been too great to imagine but I hope I make them proud with the person I am today. It sounds silly as I’m sure a lot of people feel this way about their parents, but I cannot explain the way they changed my life.
Anyone can have a child and call themselves ‘a parent’. A real parent is someone who puts that child above their own selfish needs and wants. – Unknown