Five things I learnt very quickly after moving out

My most recent post gives an insight into how I was feeling just before I moved out of my parents’ house. Now, a week after the move, here are the things I’ve already learnt:

1 That sh*t is HARD.

Change is hard. I knew that it would be a challenge for me as someone who is not only close to their parents, but also is effected by CPTSD. I felt that I didn’t really know how it would go until the time came, but I was certainly aware of the ways in which I may react to such change. Well, sometimes it’s been absolutely fine, and sometimes I’ve felt like I absolutely can’t do it and that I need to live at home forever. On the day I left my house I cried the whole way to my new home, and found it difficult to get myself together after that. On the next morning I cried until midday and didn’t move from my bed until then – at this point I’m thinking: ‘f*ck.’ I absolutely didn’t want to end up how I’ve been before in terms of this constant crying and inability to physically move out of bed for feeling like I couldn’t face the day ahead.

In the afternoon I was absolutely fine and I have been since. It comes and goes: sometimes I’m OK with living somewhere new and I like it, and other times I just want the familiarity and comfort of home (and of course, family), but I feel like I’m already getting used to it – sometimes I surprise myself! I also spoke to some other people who said that they’d found moving out really difficult at first too and reminded me that it is actually a really big change in your life. It takes adjustment and I need to give myself enough time to do that.

2 I know little about washing

If something is black and white, which wash does it go in? *Phones Mum*

3 The idea of ‘meeting up’ with my parents is kinda weird

I met up with my parents and siblings for Father’s Day, and it was very strange not actually going with them but instead making my own way there before going our separate ways.

4 The importance of sibling relationships

Whilst living with my brother and sister it was just so normal. Now my normal is quite different. I think sometimes we just crack on with our daily lives without much thought, and my eleven year old sister’s singing and five year old brother’s shouting became my normal. I’ve seen my siblings three times since I moved out last week and I love seeing them – maybe it’s because we’ve chosen to see each other instead of just sort of being around. My sister and I have catch-ups and properly talk to each other about things when we see each other now. It’s the same with my parents, too.

5 I bloody love to read

I’d forgotten how much I loved to read. Since I moved I’ve been reading a little more and doing a bit more of my own thing and that’s really nice. Before, most of my free time would be spent with my boyfriend because there were fewer opportunities to see each other – now, we both go off and do our own things and then come back, which I really like.

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1 Comment

  1. June 24, 2018 / 7:21 pm

    I’ll comment in reverse order, if you don’t mind
    5)Reading is great and when you are already there with your significant other, it sure does help to do things separately as opposed to doing things together when you were still with your family, by the sheer lack of time. Now you can build the next stage of your togetherness, and that also means this healthy separation of activities, each having a “you time”, and still meeting & doing things together.

    4) & 3 ) I no longer am in touch with my siblings nor my father, but I think I’d react the same as you here ; I do like the ability to meet family on my terms when possible & to invite, tough at times I have no choice but to go there – especially to see my grand mother who cannot walk much. On this, I find it absolutely refreshing to be able to talk when you want, rather than by obligation – what about you? did you feel obligated & wished not to talk at times, before ? Does this change of home change the way or topics you cover with your family ?

    2) Washing is far more complicated than we realize. For instance, it’s not just about colour but also material, and if it’s a fragile, washing machines usually tell you to divide the total weight by 3 or so… meaning a 15 LB capacity is for normal but you can only put 5 for fragile… We learned this the hard way! If you need advice, I’ll share any meager knowledge I have.

    1) I think it’s natural to feel emotion & sad, and to tear up when changing, moving from a loving family, or out of fear of being away/ alone. I had that too at first, but over a short period of time, I realized all the benefits of my own space were bigger than the losses, so I hope you’ll get to that point too, where you can balance your new home with attachements to the previous. I’ll continue this part in DM, as I’ll be checking on ya!

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