My boyfriend is probably going to take the piss out of me for this.
I’m generally quite open about my relationship and have written about my boyfriend in some silly posts about what it’s really like to be in a long-term relationship, and light-hearted explorations into how blooming annoying men can be, but being in a relationship is actually a pretty serious thing. I’ve been in mine for nearly six years now and, it’s safe to say he’s a huge part of my life.
I was speaking to a close friend recently who is a little unsure in her current situation and doesn’t know whether something (someone) is worth pursuing. It may be fair to say that I am biased because she’s my friend and I’m undoubtedly protective of her, but I do try to be fair and to take a holistic view of things as a whole from each viewpoint, but my answer was that, generally, if you’re 1: questioning or 2: chasing, it’s a no from me. The thing is, my boyfriend may be a bit goofy and it has not been plain sailing, but he is a good person. There’s no two ways about that. When I hear of situations or my friends come to me and say that this person has done this and is it acceptable? I’m generally quite intolerant. I know that good people exist because I managed to bag one for myself, so if you’re wondering whether somebody cheating on you, flirting with others, not making time for you, or not paying an interest in your life, is worth it – they’re not.
It’s easy for me to say this, I know, and you probably think that I have it easy. Maybe I do. My relationship is pretty easy to be in. If it wasn’t, it wouldn’t be right. I’m not saying it’s all wonderful all the time because it’s not. You have to put time and work into a relationship but both people must be willing to do so.
I don’t know really what the purpose of this is. I guess I just wanted to say that if you’re being mistreated and don’t know whether it’s acceptable behaviour, it probably isn’t. And you don’t have to deal with it. There are people in this world who are good people. They will provide you with what you need and more – and you will be able to do the same for them. You will be enough for them. You will be everything they want. They will understand you. I guess I’m just saying don’t put up with any crap – you don’t have to, so don’t.
Lots of people settle for a relationship that isn’t completely right, maybe because they’re comfortable, it’s convenient for them, or they don’t want to be on their own. Whilst I understand that all of these things are very real, don’t waste time with the wrong person. You’ll be thankful for it when you meet the ‘right’ one. You don’t have to settle if you’re unhappy or if you know deep down that something isn’t right. If you know in your heart that it’s not right, then it probably never will be. Find somebody who values you for exactly the person you are and embraces every quality you have, who wants to spend time with you, who wants to build a relationship with you – and not with anybody else. They do exist.