Recovery really is very different for different people. It totally depends on the individual and it’s a long – and somewhat tiring – process. Small things that may mean nothing to others have turned out to be huge for me, and it’s important to recognise that. Every single victory – small or big – should be recognised. So here is my brain dump on what recovery means for me.
Photo taken by Kaye Ford
Backing myself. Making a change. Acceptance. Understanding.
Going to London. Going out to eat. Going to the pub. Getting on the train. Getting on the tube.
Being part of a crowd. Spending the night away from home.
Tears of laughter. Tears of sadness.
Beauty in small things.
Empathy. Compassion. Kindness.
Focus. Lack of concentration.
Sleep. Lack of sleep.
Feeling OK. Feeling rubbish. Feeling good. Feeling something.
Self doubt. Confidence.
Shortness of breath. Breathing easy.
Triggers. Recognising triggers. Understanding triggers. Beating triggers.
The shit is still there. It will be for a long while I suspect, but there’s less of it. It’s not as often. It’s not as harsh. I meet it with a ready stance and an accepting eye. It won’t ever catch me.