I can’t believe I’m on week 6 already. This has gone so quickly but it’s definitely not finished yet. It’s at this point that my therapy with the NHS stopped because I’d finished the six weeks. I’d say I’ve definitely got at least two more to go.
I left this week’s session feeling quite empowered. Tired, but empowered. I dealt with some nasty demons this week and although it was difficult and somewhat distressing to do so, progress was made. I left feeling like I was able to protect myself and be a strong, sassy lady but more importantly, that I deserved to a protected, strong and sassy lady. It’s been a long time since I felt like a strong independent woman who don’t take no shit from nobody, so it was quite nice to have it back. Whether it will last or not, I don’t know.
I kind of feel more of an interest in looking after myself – mind and body – and making more of an effort with the things I stopped bothering with. For a long time I’d wake up late, chuck some clothes on and head off to work. Now, I feel more motivated to wake up, dress cute, wear makeup, do my hair properly, and I even have breakfast when I get to work now. Sounds silly, most people eat breakfast, but these are the small changes I’m making to look after myself better. I just need to work on the waking up late: I haven’t quite got that sorted yet.
Maybe these things are because work is exciting right now and I’m enjoying my daily life more, but I hope that it’s at least partly because my mind is slowly becoming healthier.
As I said this week was difficult and next week will be too, as was last week. I’m not sugar coating it for that would defeat the whole object of these posts but the important point to take, if nothing else, is that this seems to be making me stronger. Facing demons is scary, of course, but beating them is incredibly satisfying.
I really do feel that, soon, I will be back to my silly self.