The Luxury of Confidence & How Thin Doesn’t Always Equal Happy

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Why has confidence and self-esteem become something so hard to attain? Why has it become something I merely hope I’ll get one day, like an Audi or a nice house?

I’m talking mainly about body confidence. This is something that has been affecting me for quite some time – it was one of the first things I wrote about on my blog – but recently, I’ve really been struggling. Body confidence is an incredibly important concept that I completely took for granted as a teenager. Now, this is an issue that directly impacts everything else in my life and is starting to affect me daily. I am unhappy with my appearance, weight in particular, which means very low confidence. This affects my relationship with my boyfriend, as well as my relationship with myself. The main thing I’m struggling with is that this is affecting is my mental health – recently my mum was like ‘Hannah, I think you’ve lost more weight’ and before I could even think of an answer I felt my heart rate increase and my throat close up and there I was standing in the kitchen brimming with anxiety.

I feel like there’s this misconception that thin = happy. If you believe this, you’re wrong. I am pretty thin and pretty unhappy about it.

So why don’t you just put on weight? Duh?’

Before you tell me to ‘eat a hamburger’ please consider the fact that I’m naturally petite and always have been, probably always will be, and even putting on a few pounds is difficult. Yes, this problem exists. I actually ended up in A&E last year after using (or attempting to use) protein shakes to help me put on weight, but that’s not the point I’m trying to make anyway.

Having such low confidence and a constant anxiety trigger is having a detrimental effect on my mental health, relationships and general attitude towards life and to be honest, I don’t really know why I wrote this. It’s probably just a brain dump. I think I just wanted to let people know that just because I’m thin, that doesn’t mean I’m happy. Please don’t think that being thin makes you happy, because I can tell you for sure, it doesn’t. I think a lot of people think that if you’re thin, how can you have confidence issues? The reality is, it’s not about your size. It’s about your perception of your size. This is the point I’m trying to make – really, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of your appearance, it’s about what you think. And you know what? My body has been through a lot. I want to look after it from now on.

Is anyone else experiencing low body confidence? How do you beat it? I would really appreciate some tips on how to improve self-esteem and confidence!

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8 Comments

  1. October 18, 2016 / 5:45 pm

    I really relate to this blog post. My lack of [body] confidence puts a huge strain on any relationships I have. My boyfriend is so reassuring and as nice as that is, it’s triggers my anxiety more because I don’t see what he sees, so he must be lying.

    I don’t think there’s any quick tips, but for me when I start feeling like this I just think to myself “this is me, it’s who I am – even if I was going to make the effort to transform my body, it won’t happen overnight” and it makes me feel a little bit better, even if it is just for a few moments. That or drink a big ol glass of water makes me ~feel~ like I’m making a start!

    xo
    Ashley (https://ashlexyz.wordpress.com/)

  2. October 18, 2016 / 8:32 pm

    I completely agree with you! I am really insecure about of a lot of things and I’ve had low body confidence for as long as I can remember, and it’s such a common and hard thing to overcome – especially when noone actually says bad things about it (I know that sounds so first-world but it’s true), it’s just been a battle with myself for years! And for it’s not always about being fat – people can be insecure about being too thin too, I understand!

    It’s such a hard thing these days to deal with and can really harm our mental health and I wish I could give you some good advice, but I’m still struggling with it myself. I guess what I would say is to eat and exercise as much or as little as you want and as makes you feel healthy and comfortable in your body. And by that I don’t mean what you look like in the mirror, but more your physical feeling (ie don’t eat/exercise until you feel ill), your energy levels (make sure you’re eating/drinking enough to prevent fatigue) and your happiness (have a cookie every now and then!).

    Hope you feel better soon and can take comfort in knowing you’re really not alone in these thoughts and it’ll get better!!

    Josie // JosieVictoriaa // Travel, Fashion & Lifestyle

  3. October 27, 2016 / 3:43 pm

    I love that you wrote this. I’ve been struggling with this more and more because the media depicts the perfect woman as being curvy and I lack all curves haha I also had a baby which I thought would help but I actually lost the weight plus more!! I have been feeling the same way and have been lacking confidence so much that me and my husband argue about it all the time. It’s just awful. Have you found anything that helps you?

    • Hannah
      October 27, 2016 / 3:45 pm

      I totally feel for you! I know what it’s like. I haven’t really found anything yet, no. At the moment I’m just trying to increase my calorie intake gradually and hope it works!

  4. November 1, 2016 / 5:07 pm

    This is so relevant. I lost quite a lot of weight this year but it doesn’t change mean that you magically become more confident. I was good to read this post and know what people of all shapes and sizes have the same worries.

    Amy x
    http://www.whatamysays.com

  5. November 1, 2016 / 6:31 pm

    This is a great post and definitely something a lot of people don’t seem to think about. Something that’s helped me when I’ve struggled with body confidence is to focus on any parts, big or small that I do like (I think I have great ankles!) Instead of the parts I don’t, or thinking about it as one whole. But hope you find a way to build your body confidence babe X

  6. Dan
    December 19, 2016 / 2:00 pm

    Great post and I totally relate even as a bloke as I lost weight ten years ago thinking it would solve my body issues and when it didn’t I kept losing more weight until I was gaunt and bony. Luckily my friends and family told me perhaps I had gone too far before it was too late. Now I weigh more but I’m healthy and less obsessive about exercise and what I eat. I used to run every day and be really strict on what I ate but now I only exercise twice a week and I try to be less strict. I’m still working on it though and wish I liked my body.

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