Love Is Not a Fairytale & I Don’t Care for Your Relationship Goals

I feel like we always talk about the pain of heartbreak; the pain of not being with the person you love; the pain of unrequited love. What about the pain of a happy relationship? The way I see it, is that love is pain. Euphoric pain.

In this digital age, our perceptions of love are distorted. We are constantly exposed to other people’s relationships, and there are even accounts on Instagram and Twitter dedicated to showcasing #relationshipgoals. Do we ever stop to think that people are only showing us what they want us to see? What would we see if it was a true reflection of a ‘good relationship’? What even makes a ‘good relationship’?

relationshipgoals

Let me tell you something, it’s not that he bought you a teddy bear the size of a house or buys you flowers every week. It’s not that you wear matching hoodies or have bed covers that say ‘your side’, ‘my side’. It’s going through some serious shit. It’s believing that, at one point, it really was the end. It’s having arguments. It’s sleeping on the sofa. It’s not talking for a few days. It’s needing space. It’s building and maybe even breaking trust. It’s vulnerability. It’s terrifying.

Reading this back it sounds really negative but it’s not. I’m not saying that love isn’t great. It is. It will put you on top of the world and bring you happiness. Euphoria even. But it’s not easy. It takes work and it hurts.

All I’m saying is, don’t let your views and expectations be distorted by social media and Disney. Don’t expect to find the right person and live happily ever after – it simply doesn’t work like that.

Hannah x

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8 Comments

  1. June 5, 2016 / 2:28 pm

    Couldn’t agree more! Relationships are about a solid foundation – for some people that is matching hoodies (ew, not for me) and others it’s normal life,
    together. It’s how you get through those things when social media isn’t around. Love this post 😉

  2. June 5, 2016 / 2:38 pm

    Absolutely love your honesty in this post and I agree with you 100%!

    Parie x
    classandglitter.com

  3. June 9, 2016 / 12:23 pm

    I agree with the overall point you’re making about how relationships are kinda glorified on social media etc. but some people, me and my fiance for example, really are that happy. Even after all this time.

    Social media is just a snippet of the happiness we share, not the ONLY happiness and I think that’s an important difference to point out.

    Of course, we have our odd moments like a lot of people who are living together and what not, but I wouldn’t say what I post on social media is falsifying our relationship because really are that darn cute :’).

    Great post though.
    I have a similar one in the works about how Instagram is complete #goals for some people yet it’s very filtered. You never see the bad! That’s why my blog is so important to me – I filter nothing! (Honesty is probably one of my worst traits, oops!)

    Morgan xx
    http://www.therosequartz.com

  4. June 16, 2016 / 4:08 pm

    Such an honest post. I think so much of our lives in on social media now, mine included, and we only show the good stuff. Not all the struggles and hard times we have gone through. So when you are going through difficult times, it can feel like you are the only one.

    Kate xx

    katemorgancecilia.blogspot.co.uk

  5. Helen
    June 18, 2016 / 11:12 am

    Absolutely love this. I got engaged at Christmas and I just feel like there’s this overwhelming pressure for my relationship to appear as perfect, because we’re in the ‘honeymoon phase’ xx

    http://www.happyhels.com

  6. June 28, 2016 / 3:18 am

    I guess this is the kind of reality check we all need sometimes. I feel like this is especially true for teens growing up right now because love is romanticized to the point where not getting married or not having a girlfriend/boyfriend makes you undesirable (even though that’s really not true of course). And it also seems like just constantly trying to make your relationship seem perfect to other people will *harm* that relationship. Like you said, it’s not just about buying flowers every day or wearing matching clothes (even though that could be a part of it).

  7. fromdreamtoplan
    July 1, 2016 / 2:14 pm

    Hi! Happy to have found your blog! I love the layout, the style the content…everything! I’ve read some of your posts and I can’t wait to read more! Looking forward to following you 🙂

    Lisa | http://www.fromdreamtoplan.net/

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