I feel like we always talk about the pain of heartbreak; the pain of not being with the person you love; the pain of unrequited love. What about the pain of a happy relationship? The way I see it, is that love is pain. Euphoric pain.
In this digital age, our perceptions of love are distorted. We are constantly exposed to other people’s relationships, and there are even accounts on Instagram and Twitter dedicated to showcasing #relationshipgoals. Do we ever stop to think that people are only showing us what they want us to see? What would we see if it was a true reflection of a ‘good relationship’? What even makes a ‘good relationship’?
Let me tell you something, it’s not that he bought you a teddy bear the size of a house or buys you flowers every week. It’s not that you wear matching hoodies or have bed covers that say ‘your side’, ‘my side’. It’s going through some serious shit. It’s believing that, at one point, it really was the end. It’s having arguments. It’s sleeping on the sofa. It’s not talking for a few days. It’s needing space. It’s building and maybe even breaking trust. It’s vulnerability. It’s terrifying.
Reading this back it sounds really negative but it’s not. I’m not saying that love isn’t great. It is. It will put you on top of the world and bring you happiness. Euphoria even. But it’s not easy. It takes work and it hurts.
All I’m saying is, don’t let your views and expectations be distorted by social media and Disney. Don’t expect to find the right person and live happily ever after – it simply doesn’t work like that.